4 Tips for self-amusement

One of the biggest things that sets successful people apart from less successful people in the dating scene, and in the broader sense, any social setting, is their ability to self-amuse.

They tend to enjoy the process of interacting with people, to find the fun in being a sociable person.
They are able to keep themselves interested in having a conversation without it getting dull.

The question is: “How do they do it?”

That’s where Uncle Virgin comes in.
As there is no universal and foolproof way to learn how to self-amuse, I will give a smattering of tips that, when combined and experimented with, will help you along the path to true self-amusement.

Journey before destination

This is the biggest tip I can give you.
The process of reaching your goal is just as important, if not more important, than achieving the goal you’ve set for yourself.

You wouldn’t want to start watching a movie, only to start fast-forwarding after 10 minutes to see the end of the movie.
You want to see the whole story.
How the prince got to the castle, saved the princess from the terrible dragon and ended up getting married.

It is only when you start accepting that you can’t reach your goal (whether that’s the number, the date or the relationship) without going through the whole process of seduction and intrigue. Only then can you start enjoying this journey.

Once you start focusing on the journey and not the destination, you’ll begin to experience the here and now, and not constantly look to the future.
As long as you don’t completely lose sight of your goal, this will benefit you immensely.

People will react better to you and you will come across as a more natural person.
You’ll find it easier to come up with new things to say and ways to be funny.

Learn to spot a dead conversation

This is more a tip for people who are quite new at the whole dating game (and that’s what it is—a game, see next tip!).

A lot of people just starting out make the mistake of continuously trying to win over girls they’re not vibing with.
When the conversation isn’t fun, or you’re not vibing with the girl, it’s not always your fault.
When you encounter this kind of girls, it’s best to just stop the conversation, because it can and will kill your mood and ability to self-amuse later on.

More advanced dating heroes won’t be affected by this nearly as much, but until then, stay away from conversations like this and treasure the girls that give you something to work with to make a fun conversation.

The dating game is A GAME

Keep this in the back of your head.

Dating is a game to see how far you can take social interaction.
A game with nearly no rules, which you can play any style you like. That’s what makes this game so beautiful.
As you change along the way, the game changes with you, which changes you in turn, which affects your game and so on, and so on.

The second you start treating dating as a chore you HAVE to do is the second you’ll stop getting results.
You won’t enjoy it as much. The best way to kill a passion is to make it obligatory.

Try to change your mindset.

Dating is not something you HAVE to do, it is something you WANT to do.
You want to do it because it’s fun, because it enriches your life.


Learn how to stop filtering your words.
Say whatever comes to mind, say what YOU think is funny, not what you expect HER to find funny.

You’ll be surprised at how often you’ll get a laugh at a joke you thought the other person wouldn’t find funny.

Some people aren’t even aware of what their own humor is.
Your own humor could differ vastly from people you yourself find funny.
It’s your own inventive way to make fun of situations.
I look up to a lot of stand-up comedians, even though my own humor, the shit I come up with, isn’t even that close to the shit they’re spouting on stage.

The less you start filtering your words, the more you’ll find your own humor and the more you’ll be able to spice up conversations with that newly discovered source of hilarity.

Enjoy the dating, hero.

(Terry Travis also wrote a great article on Self-Amusement to Attract Women.. Check it out in the link!)


Virgin has spent years working for one of the world's biggest dating companies and has helped countless of people with their love life. He hasn't only seen everything in the book, he wrote the book.

Comments 2

Sat, 05 Dec 2015 05:02

ass player

I really like the 4 tips, especially the last one.

I learned much from seeing stand-up comedy and be around funny people, it increased my self amusemend tremendously!

Sat, 12 Dec 2015 01:36

Mike Vegas

"Dating is not something you HAVE to do, it is something you WANT to do.
You want to do it because it’s fun, because it enriches your life."

Stronk 👌

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