Great post, John.
Everyone should follow this advice if they want to get good at game.
And this way they can even do it as fast as you did (it took me longer).
I do however, think my casual advice on forums is on point even though the punctuation might not be. ;D
Take advantage of this advice people!
How to Get Good Game Fast
The question I get asked the most is how to get good with women fast. Guys I meet want to know how I did it. My journey with women and self-development has been characterized by fast growth, and in this article I will do my best to help you get the same amount of RAPID growth.
Take TONS of action
Self-explanatory. The more action you take, the more experience you build, the bigger your insights grow and the better you get. As you reach out of your comfort zone and learn what works and what doesn’t, you’ll experience amazing things. Things you never thought possible.
“Life starts where your comfort zone ends”
This quote has meant a lot to me from the beginning on. The journey isn’t about reaching goals or getting laid, it’s about what you become by going through it. By realizing that putting yourself out there and going for what you want is actually alright. That it’s way safer than the doom-scenario’s you thought were possible. It’s about becoming truly more experienced, confident and knowledgeable.
You should be constantly pushing yourself out of your comfort-zone, so that every night you’ll learn something more about yourself, the social matrix, or game in general. The more you get to know your limits & the limits of social interactions, the more you’ll understand what’s going on around you and what the possibilities are. If you REALLY wanna become good at your social skills, see it as a lifestyle, because eventually your lifestyle is what produces the real change you seek.
Find winners, befriend them, and learn from them
You’re gonna need to find out who is owning it up in your local area and befriend them. Most of the time if they are really good they will have been approached by tons of other guys before. Try to approach them as casually as possible and OFFER VALUE. I know it’s hard to offer value when you are a chode, but seriously, you must have something you can help them with?!
Back in the day when I was starting out, I was really good at League of Legends, my mentor happened to play that game but suck at it. Although I wasn’t really able to give him in-game tips because we didn’t play that much, it certainly helped to built that initial connection and start a friendship.
Be observant. If somebody else gets blown out or is attracting girls left and right, pay attention. What are they doing correctly or incorrectly? You can learn by watching other people. But you HAVE to apply it as well. You cannot simply be an observer. You have to also be a participant.
Be critical about the information you take in
Make sure the information you are taking in is high quality and written by a respected author. Don’t trust anything some guy on some forum is writing and always use your critical thinking. I’m FAR from saying that you should blatantly ignore what everyone says but I’d rather have you ask a lot of questions and gain from considering the answers. Don’t ignore all advice, but don’t just follow it all without thinking about it first.
Keep a journal and analyze your nights. Seriously… This will be great to see you’re own progress later on and it will help you TREMENDOUSLY in seeing your sticky points. The patterns of your problems will immerse in your journal and this is priceless. Journalling is a skill, you’ll get better at as you do it and it will help you more and more over time.
Embrace, the community!
This is probably my biggest secret to fast growth. I don’t think enough people realize the true power that is in their hands at this moment in time; SOCIAL MEDIA or FORUMS.
Every single question you have, no matter how dumb it is, ASK IT. Accept that you are a beginner and EMBRACE making mistakes, because as cliché as it sounds, learning from your mistakes is what will eventually make you become better. Yes, you will potentially come across as dumb, but the dumber the answer, the bigger your current beliefs or knowledge will be shattered and replaced by something new, bigger, and better. Believe me, I posted A LOT of dumb questions in the beginning, but I steamrolled through. PERSISTENCE.
→ Post all of your questions or comments in a Facebook group or forum!
50 years ago you would have to ask your questions to 30 people separately. NOWADAYS you simply post it in a Facebook group that probably has around 500-600 people in it and a lot of them will try to help you out. How can you not use that opportunity?!
Now, even though most people will know what they are speaking about, it doesn’t hurt to be cautious and double check or think critically, a good indicator I always use is to check the punctuation, it’s even been scientifically proven that highly intelligent people mostly have their grammatics and punctuation figured out.
We’re all in it to grow and become better stronger person, and that’s the beauty of being in self-development and dating communities, everybody wants to help each,other out, so use this source! Just ask. And don’ forget to give value back by answering other people’s questions or just supporting and motivating them through these forums. Letting people know you’ve read their posts and liked it by pointing out specific things in them is already good It will make the other person feel better.
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Soak in the KNAWLEDGE
Seriously, listen, read, view AND apply anything you can get your hands on. And don’t just mindlessly consume, take actionable notes, and then put them into practice.
If you want to save yourself a lot of time on choosing the right materials, here’s what I can give you:
Don’t get stuck on instant gratification and trying to fix your minor issues, the so called ‘peaks of your iceberg’. Try to look at the deeper substance of your problems. Be in it for the long haul. Instead of photoshopping your manboobs on pictures, work on accepting yourself, or even better, start hitting the gym hardcore. Work on things from the inside out, and don’t EVER go for band-aid solutions.
What comes along with this advice should be quite obvious; don’t focus solely on your seduction skills. My philosophy has always been:
“The amount of success you have in your personal development, will always mirror the amount of success you have with women.”
So work on yourself, and not just your game!
I’ve put this one last because it is optional. It’s like letting you chose between taking the red pill or the blue pill. How aware do you want to become of your thoughts, actions, and it’s implications?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, for me there’s nothing more close to a magic pill as meditation is.
Right now you cannot see the advantages that this will bring to your game. Especially holding on to the habit the first days and weeks will be hard. However, if you can hold on it will massively help you progress on your journey towards self-actualization. Profound insights will pop out of nowhere, as you let the mud in your brain sink, and make place for clear thinking and instilled knowledge.
The benefits of meditation can be priceless:
- You’ll be more present and less in your head
- You’ll learn how to control your orgasms (fuck yeah)
- Able to re-frame shit much easier
- You’ll have better focus
- You’ll be less anxious or overwhelmed
- You’ll be more self-aware of your feelings and emotions
- You’ll sleep better
And a lot more…
It’s true that some people need meditation less, or have other forms of meditation like going for a run, but everybody can benefit from it. Find a form of meditation that works for you and that you can do in a consistent manner and just try it out for 30 days. You’ll thank me later.
Some extra tips for along the journey
- Try offering value and helping others. Whether it’s finding a mentor, building your reputation in the community or when just meeting people, focus on giving value and learn to enjoy it.
- Focus on the good stuff and on what you’ve learned. If you approach 10 women and only 1 went good, be happy with the win and learn from all 10 instances. If stuff went bad think about it in a rational way and don’t let it put you down.
- Make realistic goals and try to reach them. Also work backwards. Ex: If your goal is to get 2 dates a week think about how many girls you will have to approach or talk to on Tinder for example. If you talk to 20 women, will 2 of them go on a date with you? Probably. This means that you have to approach at least 3 girls a day… If it turns out this is not enough approach 4 or 5 and so on...
- Have patience but keep improving. This lifestyle is a marathon, not a sprint.
That’s it. Thanks for being here.
Great post, John.
My main man Wotu (y)
great tips, john!
can't wait tor your next article!