How To Get A Girl To Like You

Most guys assume that being good with girls and having them like you comes down to having a certain skill set or knowing what to do to get the girl. This, however is completely wrong. Yes, it is still a skillset, and it is about knowing what to do, but it’s not about getting the girl.

This is a weird thing to say, because if you’re a guy who’s had some success, you’ll definitely feel as if you’ve got some girls. However, this was in actuality just a male/female connection.
Think about it, we as humans are all the stars of our own movie, nothing or no one will ever change that and it’s the same for girls. We don’t want to feel as if we’re subjects to someone else’s movie.

It’s not as if I’m saying that you’ll never be able to feel as if you ‘got the girl’ ever again. All I’m saying is that you should look at the process differently. From now on I want you to stop thinking about how to get the girl, and start thinking about how to form a connection. This is the only way to get her to like you in the long run. Sounding like a pussy, I know. But allow me to elaborate.

Men versus women

While we as men often see sex as an accomplishment or a goal, women, even though they want sex just as bad, don’t see it like that. Women see sex as a way to solidify a connection or a moment.

So the moment you try to get the girl, you go against her motivations to have sex. But when you as a man, with male energy, start to connect with a girl with female energy, the connection you build will naturally progress into sex.

We as guys have a tendency to communicate logically, thing A results in thing B. the only problem is that girl don’t work like this. Girls work emotionally, and emotions are dynamic, not static, while ‘getting’ the girl is a static thing. Other than that, the connection we are looking to form is an emotional one, not a logical one. Just as sex is a logical goal to us and it’s an emotional experience for the girl.

Now that we understand this we can see how the whole process of trying to get the girl plays out. You start off with a logical goal and you do things that would logically get you closer to that goal, but as sex is an emotional experience, all your logic is doing is moving away from sex. Other than that, when a girl gives into your logic, she’ll feel as if she’s losing, just like you do when you’re logically giving in to someone about something you don’t feel good about.

Mindset shift

So what do we do we do instead? Well, as I said already, we want to change your mindset from “getting the girl” to forming a connection with the girl. This way you’ll both feel like you’re winning, and who doesn’t want to win? But I get that doesn’t sound like the most helpful advice if you’re not familiar with the process of forming a connection. So as a way of training this I want you to make a fundamental shift in your game.

As opposed to going into the interaction working towards an outcome, like getting her to like you or getting her number, go into the interaction focused on bringing a lot of positive emotions into the interaction. As you do this, you’ll see (or will begin to see, depending on your skill level) invitations from the girl for you to escalate the interaction. Once you see these invitations it’s still your job as a man to lead and such, but only once you’re getting the sense that she emotionally wants you to.

This isn’t how I want you to look at game for ever as you are going to miss out on some girls that would have liked you if you only game like this. However, if you have trouble forming a connection as I describe in this article, go out and just game like this for a while. It will teach you how it feels to build a connection. Once you understand this, you can go back to gaming as you normally do, but this time you can do so with a much deeper understanding of how a connection is formed.

Disclaimer: forming a connection doesn’t mean you need to be like Romeo and Juliet with a girl before you can have sex. Hell, sometimes you’ve only known each other for a few moments and it doesn’t make sense that you’d do something together. But that’s the thing, emotions don’t have to make sense.

So go out, connect and let me know how it went.



Gianni's a veteran in the dating community. He has taught himself how to meet and attract women, by being himself. Now he helps others achieve the same.

Comments 1

Thu, 07 Apr 2016 15:51


"Women see sex as a way to solidify a connection or a moment." Well that clears some stuff up!

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