The Attitude of Abundance

Today I’ll go over what I personally think is the most important thing in game, abundance.

Now, this isn’t something new, but it’s something that's misunderstood a lot. Most people see abundance as a way to comfort themselves when they get rejected or as an excuse to act like an impossible asshole. Some guys will even insult girls for no reason but to act like they’re abundant.

Abundance doesn’t, or shouldn’t mean you can get rejected by as many girls as you want. Abundance means you can get with as many girls as you want.

Something you’ll see over and over again (and something I was definitely guilty of) is that guys will do everything to get a girl, acting extremely scarce in the interaction itself and getting rejected because of it. But then when the interaction is over they go “well yeah, doesn’t matter, I have abundance”.

Again, this is an abundance of rejection, not an abundance of attractive girls. We know abundance is important because it shows the girls we’re interacting with that we don’t need them or need anything from them, which translates into tons of value for a multitude of reasons. As a result there are a lot of pickup tactics which were developed to communicate abundance to a girl. The basic idea is that you would try to show the girl that you could walk off at any moment, so that as a result, she would want you to stay. But abundance shouldn’t be this thing you try to falsely convey, it should be an attitude that is part of who you are that is always there.

Using abundance to “get the girl” is inherently needy, which makes abundance impossible to fake. Because think about it, how is the girl going to believe you could walk at any moment, if you yourself don’t even believe it. How is she going to believe you could walk, if you couldn’t even let her walk?

So guess what, if you want the girl to see you as a dating hero that has his pick among women, you should actually only pick the women you want. I want you to completely get rid of the idea that you could ever attract a girl by “acting selective” or “judging her to see if she’s good enough”, and I want you to replace it with “you having a good time with a girl by expressing yourself”. This way, when a girl does something you don’t like and you express your feelings about it, she will feel the realness of it, the words you say will become more than just words and it will mean something. This authenticity or realness counts for calling her out when she does something you don't like but also complimenting her when you feel like it.

This way abundance will indeed be incredibly attractive, because you're sincere. The moment you can walk away from a 10 because you felt the two of you wouldn’t have a good time together, is when you can get a 10.

Now, this is fun and awesome in theory, but there is a harsh reality to it. Having this attitude doesn’t mean you’ll go out and have a fun interaction with every girl you talk to. You’ll still have people that don’t want to talk to you, people who you don’t click with at all and just random “not so nice” situations as a result. This will happen however good you get.

And even though you listened to everything I told you in the first part of this article, you still might not want anything “bad” to happen. Doing this, even though it might not be about the girl, will get you right back into that needy place we talked about earlier.

It's about the process

When you're scared of losing girls or being rejected, a solution I want you to come at this game as a skateboarder does at skating.
Do you think any skater ever even cares about falling for a second? When a skater rolls by bench or a ramp, he just sees the possibilities and the fun, not how often he might fall, even though that’s what he’ll end up doing most of the time. The reason he can do this is that he’s just as certain that he’ll fall, as that he’ll land amazing tricks. In other words, he has an abundance of opportunities to do amazing stuff. Personally, my knees are still mostly made up of scar tissue from when I used to skate as a kid. But I didn’t care at all, all I cared about was landing new amazing tricks and riding my board.

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Don’t think I liked hitting my knees on the cement time after time, that’s bullshit, just as I don’t like having sucky conversations with dull girls. But damn I loved flying through the air on my board, and damn I love having amazing adventures with girls I just met.

If you’re new to this and haven’t ever been on amazing adventures with girls you just met, it might just feel like you’re hitting your knees on the cement again and again without getting much in return and that’ll make it very difficult for you to “just walk away”, you’ll want it to work.

But here’s the thing, I really wasn’t that good at skating, I could do some tricks, but most of what I did was getting myself hurt falling to the ground. But I had a clear vision of what I would be able to do if I kept going like this. So everything I did, whether it was landing an awesome trick or hitting the pavement, it felt awesome. Because my love for skating outweighed the pain of falling.

That’s really the thing, you need to love this game for the sake of playing it. And that automatically gives you that attitude that we talked about, wanting to have a good time with the girl by expressing yourself.

It is true that the more success you have, the more abundant you’ll feel. I mean, it’s not that hard to walk away from a girl when you got one that looks exactly like her on speed dial. But to the girl, this doesn’t make any difference at all, all she sees is your attitude.

Let me tell you, I’ve been talking to girls when I had girls hotter than them texting me, and I still fucked up even though I had the abundance. All because I had the wrong attitude. Shit happens and you'll never be perfect. But the beautiful thing is that it can work the other way around as well. You don’t need the actual abundance to have the attitude of an attractive man in abundance. As long as you keep the right frame in mind, you meeting a girl and expressing yourself authentically, you'll be good.

So let’s recap!

- NOT abundance of rejection, but abundance of girls.
- Abundance is the opposite of neediness.
- Faking it is inherently needy, which makes faking it impossible.
- You want to have a good time with the girl by expressing yourself
- When you say something as a sincere expression, it means something, the words become more than just words.
- You can get what you can walk away from.
- Rejection is part of the game, you need to love all of the game.
- You are just as certain to get rejected as you are to have epic success.
- She doesn’t see your abundance, she sees your attitude.

That's it men, thank you for being here.



Gianni's a veteran in the dating community. He has taught himself how to meet and attract women, by being himself. Now he helps others achieve the same.

Comments 2

Mon, 08 Feb 2016 14:36

Mike Vegas

"Abundance doesn’t, or shouldn’t mean you can get rejected by as many girls as you want. Abundance means you can get with as many girls as you want."

Very nice quote my man, great article!

Mon, 22 Feb 2016 18:43

ass player

plain and simple, yet verry insightfull.

most men should read this!

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