Be a hero at starting conversations
What's up, Heroes?!
First of all, I want to make it clear that this is a guide on starting a conversation with a stranger.
And that’s it.
We’re not going to try and get the girl attracted right away by having some “amazing opener” (although what I’ll be teaching will increase the chances of that happening).
Because if we come from that mindset, trying to attract the girl with our opener, we’re setting ourselves up for failure.
The girls will start to notice our attractive qualities once we've started the conversation.
So how do we start a conversation?
I want you to think about starting conversations like two realities meeting.
A reality being the way a person looks at the world at a moment in time.
There is really no way to know what a girl's reality is like at any given moment, so we shouldn’t concern ourselves with it.
What we need to pay attention to is our own.
We want our own reality to be as awesome as possible at that moment.
In a dating hero’s reality starting a conversation with a stranger is perfectly normal and fun.
A dating hero knows that girls like to talk to him and have a good time.
On top of this, a dating hero feels awesome about himself.
This is the kind reality you want to build for yourself.
From now on, this reality is what the world is to you. It’s like gravity, it’s just there.
This goes into one of the core concepts of my game which I call Holding Value.
There is this one quote that to me illustrates the idea of holding value perfectly: ‘If you know who you are, there is nothing to prove.’
Of course there are some things we want to do, like build our awesome reality.
But once we have that, there is no point in trying to show our value to someone.
We are just being ourselves.
If we imagine meeting a real badass, he will probably not be trying to show people how cool he is.
He just does what he does, and because of who he is, and how he does it, people feel his 'value'.
See, if you know without a single doubt that you have value, there is no point in trying to show it.
Once that doubt it gone, that’s when your swagger just comes out effortlessly.
And funny enough, even if you do something weird or aren’t as smooth as you’d like to be, if you just lay back and relax, and 'hold your value' without thinking about it, people might think that they're the ones doing being weird.
But if you try to compensate for the weird thing you did, that’s when you lose your value.
In a perfect world, you shouldn’t even have to think about this.
But until then focus on just holding a strong reality, relaxing and holding value, not showing it.
We’ll get deeper into this in a later article, but at this point, remember the sentence above.
What happens as a result of having a strong reality is quite interesting.
You start talking louder, are more at easy, have better eye contact…
Great things. But more than that, it influences your surroundings.
If you try to talk to a girl for example, and the tries to 'reject' you, if you just asked a normal thing and don't react to what she's doing, she's going to look boring or prude while you were just being sociable and cool.
Once we have a strong reality (and don’t psyche yourself out, you don’t need to be 100% perfect with this), we’re ready to go talk to some hot girls.
Now as I’ve said before, It’s impossible to know what the girls reality is before going up to her.
But most likely, her reality at that point probably won’t be doing us any good as she’s probably thinking about kittens and (home)work.
So what we want to do is draw her into our reality.
We draw a girl into our reality by asserting our reality into the conversation and being sociable, lighthearted and fun.
Now when I tell you to assert you reality, don’t think you need to go up to the girl and tell her aggressively what your reality is.
What is does mean is that at the start of the interaction, you’ll be that one that keeps the convo going.
You’ll be the one that’s at the cause of things. And this can actually be very subtle.
Offer value by showing the girl a good time and good things without asking anything in return.
The great thing is that everything we say or do will automatically bring value to the girl, as everything we say comes from our great reality.
We do however, need to be doing/saying things.
Lastly we want to make it easy for the girl to come into our reality.
We want to make our reality as relatable as possible to the girl without compromising it.
Sometimes you might be overwhelming or might make the girl nervous.
This obviously isn’t good, but what do we do about it?
You should view it as communicating you reality in her language.
Let’s say you go up to a girl with your awesome reality say hi and start talking.
If it turns out that she didn't understand you because she doesn't speak English, you won't take it personal will you.
You'll just adapt to the situation and try again. It doesn't affect your reality.
And sometimes, you just don't click and won't be able to speak a 'similar language'
But again, that doesn't say anything about you.
Imagine being a host of a party and someone shows up, you want to be a good host.
It doesn’t matter how your guests are feeling before they arrive, when they arrive, you go talk to them and assert the reality of your party and offer value.
If they aren’t feeling that good, you talk to them more and more until they are also in your party reality.
And if they really don’t want to join that reality, you don’t take it personally, they’re just being weird.
The thing is, life can be your party if you just bring and hold that reality.
To recap: - Build your reality and hold it.
- Draw them into your reality by asserting your reality.
- Offering value.
- Doesn’t matter way you say/do, all that matters is that you say/do something.
- Adjust but don’t emotionally react, speak her langue.
- Life is your party!