How to kiss a girl

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I’m going to split this article up in two. In part one I’ll talk about how to get to the point where she wants to kiss you -ish. And in part two I’ll talk about *that moment*, how to lunge in for it and be an amazing kisser, or not.

Before getting into this. Always focus on enjoying yourself, being in a good mood and having fun. Especially in social settings.

"Getting girls won't make you feel good. But feeling good will get you girls!" - Terry Travis

Hey, what’s your name?

To kiss a girl you need to find one and make her like you enough to want to kiss you. You can find & meet girls everywhere. On a street, in a mall, in a coffee shop, bar, club, on Tinder and so on. When you spot a girl you like you have to start a conversation... More on this later.

When talking to a girl, you need to reach a certain level of connection and attraction needed to get a kiss. I’ll call this the kiss-point (KP). Normal people language, SHE HAS TO DIG YOU. (Disclaimer: a lot of girls will never dig you, but that's okay, move on to the next that will. More cute girls out there than you have time for anyway.)

Sometimes your amazing presence and eye contact will be enough to reach the KP. Usually you’ll have to meet her and have some fun first. Especially if she’s attractive and sober.

How long it takes to reach a girl’s KP depends on her personality, mood, alcohol, environment, the time, past experiences, if you’re her type, if you play the game right and so on. We're going to focus on what you have control over, her experience with you.

Usually after meeting a girl, you need to spend a bit of time with her in order to connect. After connecting a bit, you have to go for the kiss.

When you try to kiss a girls and she doesn't immediately go for it, you can try again. Just make sure that she's comfortable about it, then you can try as many times as you want. There's a big difference between no and not now. And trying again can be very attractive. It shows her that you go for what you want. Just use your awareness and make sure she's enjoying it. Pls don't be a psycho.

Just the fact that you’re spending time together will help you bond towards the KP; but usually you'll need to amplify that connection to make something happen.


Humans are emotional creatures. You connect depending on how you make each other feel. On a low level, just helping somebody feel less lonely is already making that person feel better. And even when you connect on ‘rational’ facts, you connect because you feel like you understand each other. But if a girl’s attractive and has a lot of options, you’ll probably have to spike her emotions in some more exciting ways to reach that KP.

How do you do this?
You add step one and two to your basics! See below.


I shouldn't have to emphasize these but I'll do it anyway, get your shit covered:

- Okay fashion, ask other people with a better fashion sense for help. If you're short like me, Nike's or shoes with a small heel are worth it.
- Take care of yourself, includes hygiene, a decent haircut, clean teeth, not stinking...
- Hold strong but relaxed eye-contact in conversations, this conveys a lot. A lot of guys get nervous and screw this up when talking to attractive women.
- Speak in a loud and clear but calm way, get a grip over your voice and try to deepen it. More on this in another article.
- Slow everything down. The way you move, speak, react. This comes across relaxed and confident. Calm is not monotonous and boring by the way.
- Try to get in a social mood by talking with everybody, curiosity is a gift.

Observe attractive traits and behaviors in others and copy them, steal with your eyes! When you see cool people, try to analyze what's cool about them, try to understand it and implement it yourself. All attractive traits add up, and once you start doing them they become second nature.

Okay, if these basics are covered, you can to start a conversation with a girl.
Skip this part if you already have enough dates and just care about the kisses.


I wrote an article on how to start conversations with women. Click the button below to read it.

How to start conversations with women

I'll give you a summary of the 5 steps below, four and five melt into the further parts of this article.

1. Take fucking action! Don't think too much, just commit to talking to her ASAP.
Action is what separates the winners from the losers. The worst case scenario is chickening out and having regret. Just do it and learn from it.

2. Walk up to here, immediately. Don't think too much, start walking. This simplifies action.
Adjust to your situation after saying something, don’t wait for a perfect moment. (there is none!)

3. Grab her attention and state your intention. Let her know you want to talk to her.
You can wave your hands, tap her shoulder or just say hey for example.

When she notices you, lock eye contact and pause for a second or two. Then start talking.
Now make it clear that you want to talk to her because you 1) want to have fun or 2) want to get to know her. This will depend on the situation and the environment of course. Be honest and vulnerable bro. Let her know that you think she's pretty. A lot more details in the linked article.

4. Talk, connect and get info. In this part you should already integrate the next to steps in the chapter below. Get to know her by asking questions and giving statements. Be curious and open up to each other. Also find out if she has a boyfriend or wife. Handy info.

5. Make shit happen. This ties in with the end of this article. Go for a kiss, immediate date or phone number and Facebook. Push things forward and try to get somewhere. It's okay to be persistent and feel entitled when you've got nothing to lose.

That's the summary of the conversation article. Read more about it here. When you get into the conversation (step 3-ish, 4 from the above) you have to add in two frames to your communication! (A frame is an undertone to an interaction which sets certain expectations. It conveys things without having to say them. Again, another article on this soon.)

Frame 1; Be fun and passionate but keep the tension in there

Have fun and do silly things for your amusement when you're with her. At the same time keep some tension in there. The best way to build up tension when is to talk slowly, with pauses and deep eye contact. Regularly look at her lips and eyes as if you’d like to eat her.

This tension show's her that you want her. Of course adapt this to your age and situation, but make it clear that you find her attractive while goofing around. I suggest teasing, being playful and challenging her for fun.

Embrace and enjoy awkwardness. A fun thing you can do is stare at your girl's eyes. Do this with a poker face and slight smirk without reacting to what she's saying. This makes a lot of girls giggle and get a bit nervous around you, in a good way (don’t start interactions with this). I'll talk more about this in the video but this is a great way to build up tension when done correctly. Be careful with this when starting out. It can creep people out when done too serious or without adjusting to her response.

In social settings you should always focus on having fun. When you want to seduce a girl, you add in the tension and teasing. If you’re with a girl you like, make 'fun with tension' your default state.

Frame 2; connect

Now add in some deep conversations to the fun. Get the girl to sit alone with you and have a decent two-person conversation. Turning her back to her friends can already be enough, just get her to completely focus on you. This is where you get to know her. Ask her questions about her life, family, dreams and ambitions. Often times you'll have to lead by example when trying to connect with somebody. So be curious and open yourself up too. Just remember to keep the fun and tension in there. At no point should you stop busting her balls for your own self-amusement.

If she says something specific about herself that you like, let her know. If you love the fact that she can cook well, tell her. If you like her fashion, nails, lips etc tell her. Just be specific about what you like and why. When this is a unique-ish trait she worked for, she'll love you for liking it. If she put a lot of effort in getting a cool job or degree that you dig, definitely show appreciation for it.

I repeat, getting to the kiss point can take 2 minutes, or 5 hours, but these frames are very helpful to reach it ASAP.
Now, how do you know if you have reached it?

Watch our FREE video with the 10 biggest mistakes guys make on Tinder and when texting women.

What do you mean?

Is your girl ready to be kissed?
You'll never be completely sure, which is okay, but here are some good signs she digs you.

- Deep eye contact: This is probably the most important one.
If a girl’s completely focused on you and holds strong eye contact, she's probably ready. Especially if she holds eye contact through silences. (Girls oftentimes look away and look back to relief the tension a bit, if the vibes are good this can be an awesome sign.)

- She wants to spend time with you instead of her friends. If a girl keeps talking to you, usually you just have to not mess it up, so stay cool. Even if she talks too much or too little (girls get nervous too), it's the fact that she's sticking around that counts.

- She giggles at your dumb jokes, she asks you a lot of questions and kind of touches herself. I mean touches her hair, arms, face, neck… When you touch her, she doesn't pull back and maybe even touches you back. This can be a shoulder tap, holding hands or whatever.

- She asks your number, Facebook or email to stay in touch, no brainer.

- She took time out of her schedule and actually went out on a freaking date with you.

Okay, if you're getting on or more of these signs, we're at part two of the article!
(If you think you reached a kiss point, just fully assume you have.)

I made you a small checklist with these KP signs that you can print out or keep on your phone. Could be helpful for when you black out or if you want to memorize them. Click the button below to download it.

When does a girl want to kiss you?

*That Moment*

As I said, I'm assuming the girl gave you one or more of the above signs. So you have reached the KP my man. It is time for action. You need to go for the kiss. Do not chicken out and let a date go without at least trying to kiss. Regret is a bitch.

Every situation is different but the following framework is a great one.

- Stop talking and look at her. If she keeps on chatting ignore what she says. You are now mesmerized by her beauty. Touch her hair or cheek with one of your hands, hold eye contact and slowly lean towards her lips. You are now trying to kiss her.

There are a million other ways but this is my personal default when I ain't feeling creative. Stupid simple.

Before going for the kiss your mind will go crazy. But know that there is never a perfect timing. The best timing is when you decide to go for it. Turn off your brain for 5 seconds and fucking go for it. Seriously, JUST DOIT!

Stop reading and GO KISS HER NOW!
Okay wait, don’t, finish this article first.

Whatever the outcome, sucking each others mouth, or she pulling away; you will be relieved and happy that you’ve tried. The interaction will move to a better place. Going for a kiss can be seen as being very polarizing too, do it, and adapt to the situation afterwards. It will never lead to a more negative outcome if you made it clear that you like her. Now there are two possible outcomes.


Congrats to her, she got to kiss you! Now how do you make it an epic one?

*Situation: You guys are in a private place and she's able to kiss you without worrying about her friends seeing it. If this is not the case, take her to a quiet place or be patient. Just hold her hand and tell her that you're going to walk around. Then find a nice quiet place. Now when kissing...

Touch her. Touch her neck, hair, cheeks, arms, whatever. Just touch her a lot. Start with one hand on her face. Then join in with the other one. Now do your thing and play around with your hand positioning.

*Please stop thinking while kissing by the way. Just focus on the sweet taste of her tongue. And if you really can't shut off your brain, think about how badly you want to have sex with her. Fill yourself with lust for her and convey it. This will turn her on. So bad thoughts or no thoughts.

A couple of seconds in, when things get heavier you can firm your grip. Especially on her arms, ass and legs. Put your open hand in the back of her neck, grab her hair and pull it a bit (downwards). Gently grab her neck, don't choke her just yet though.

The above things are very dominant thing. In general women love this, just in different amounts. So aware of her reaction. (You can take this further by biting her neck, putting your finger(s) in her mount and later tying her up, hehe.)

If you do the above things, without smelly breath, you'll probably be one of her best kissers evah. Good job bro.

Okay now take it easy tiger! Shit got pretty real here. This is almost turning into foreplay so let me clear things up. Not everything above has to be included, especially if you're not comfortable with it yet. Slowly build up to what you want.

And you need to do the above things within 5 to 15 sec of kissing her. Then you need you pull back. Let me explain.
Unless you are trying to have sex then and there, you'll have push things forward and then lay back. If you’re alone on a bed or on a couch, by all means, keep going bro. But if you can’t have sex then and there, stop after 10-15 seconds. Both of you will want to keep going but this break will be very helpful on your quest.

I'm assuming you would like to sleep with the girl. So making her taste your epic kiss will make her crave more, especially when you take it away. This all adds up to the experience. Kissing her too long might backfire and usually won't do any good. It takes away excitement, craving for more and might even make her uncomfortable when she's out of your kiss bubble.

After you kiss her amazingly, the next step is to get to your place or hers to take things further. This can be immediately afterwards or on another day but the rules stay the same. Tease her with your kisses until you're at a location where magic can happen.

This article is about kissing, so I'll round this success part off and go to troubleshooting.


Poor girl, she nodded her head away and didn't go for the kiss. She's really missing out on life ay. You weren't at the kiss point yet.

When this happens, don't worry bro. As long as you’re relaxed and okay with the situation, she will be too. This is where the fun begins. You can try again now. You'll definitely be relieved you went for it anyway. The conversation frame will shift in positive ways. The emotions given by the ‘kiss rejection’ can be turned into excitement and fun. And it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise for her anyway, she probably understood that you like her already.

You have a three options depending on the situation.

1. If you can't really read her, but she's chill, immediately try again. Just smile and try two more times, gently of course. A lot of girls just need to know that you really want it and will push you away once or twice on purpose, just to let you have the third one. The fact that you push through without being phased by her reaction can be very attractive. Again, just be mindful and gentle.

2. She didn't go with it after trying again. Lay back. Just have a some fun with her and try again later or on another date. Do the things I talked about in part 1 of this article and keep the interaction fun. Also call her out on 'rejecting' your kiss. Playfully tell her she's crazy for rejecting the prince's kiss or something like that.

If she's still hanging out with you she just needs some time to reach the KP. Every girl can have different reasons for not going with it. But it doesn't matter. The golden rule is; as long as she's hanging out with you she's interested. Take your time, chill and try again.

3. She freaked the fuck out (aka got very uncomfortable). Abort mission. Depending on the situation focus on another girl or on just having fun with this one. You could try again later of course but if she was disgusted by you, chances are pretty big she won’t be that into you later. But the golden rule still applies of course. If she hangs around you could try again later.

That's it for this article.
Congrats bro, you got the kiss or you got to move on.

Thanks for reading, I hope this article helps you out!

Talk later,
Terry Travis

Watch our FREE video with the 10 biggest mistakes guys make on Tinder and when texting women.


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